You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
