so explain again why im purple
no
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
