and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
she looked like the before picture.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
