there was a trapeze. enough said
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
