You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Randomize
