honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
