that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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