Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
