"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
