i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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