So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Randomize
