yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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