do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
