I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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