I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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