i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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