none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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