I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
