Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
