He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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