i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
