he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
