just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Are we still banned from the library?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
