Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
