i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
