He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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