she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
is that a dick in a sweater?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
