they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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