im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
