Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
