So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
