this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
