i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
