So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
