thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
