Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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