can we get nightvision for the apartment?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
