we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Randomize
