if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I need to align my fucking chakras
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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