oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
