I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
