You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
