well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
