Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
