"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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