There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
