the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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