How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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