am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
