Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Four minutes until I can fart!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
