So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
